Frozen Peas - A Fragment

Then there was the rain, but she wasn't thinking about that. As she put down her coffee the bracelet on her wrist made a clinking sound. She went into the hall, picked up the post. She did not look at her face in the mirror. Out of the corner of her eye she was drawn to the mirror, was aware of it, and saw a moment of shade there. Looking, but not looking; or was it not looking, but looking?

She put the post on the kitchen table, unopened. The kitchen was quiet. She finished her coffee, wrapped the remainder of the croissant in a piece of kitchen roll and put it in the fridge. She ate two grapes and did not think about her face.

She bit her nails and then did things in the kitchen. She did things that needed doing like wiping down clean surfaces and refolding dishcloths.

The rain came harder outside. She could hear it on the patio. Resting her hands on the sink she watched the rain on the garden, hard pounding rain on the garden. The hot tap was running. It was piping out very hot water and the steam came up out of the sink. She caught her reflection in the kitchen window as she watched the steam. She looked at her face. She looked at the shadows on her face.

She stopped the hot water and went to the freezer. Some ice fragments fell from the freezer shelves as she searched. The ice would melt and leave little puddles, but she didn't care. She sat at the table with the bag in front of her. It was a solid frozen lump, and she thumped it down and it was hard and cold on her hand. She thumped the frozen peas to break them up. The sound of her thumping the peas was loud in the kitchen and she was suddenly very aware of it.

The skin beneath her eye pulsed. She touched her fingers to it.

She had seen it in films. It wasn't peas in films, but real ice. They always had just the right ice that didn't need breaking up.

She picked up the bag and held it to her eye, and took it away at once. After a moment she held it to her eye again. It cooled her eye, but her hand was cold. She needed a tea-towel.

She sat there with the bag to her eye. The rain had eased off. She thought about the tea-towel. She had no idea what she would do after.

From the collection, Little Flame and Other Endings.

Available on Amazon: Little Flame